Sunday, November 15, 2009
What else, what else...got a new tattoo on my wrist. I love it!! It says "memento vivere memento mori" It's latin and is essentially a reminder to live your life to the fullest because one day you will die.
I've been single for awhile now and am honestly in no rush to find anyone, which is different for me! lol
I started finally utilizing my gym membership and got a gym buddy to go with me 3 times a week! YAY! no more "baby weight" lol. I figure that 15 months after having him, claiming it's baby weight is no longer a valid excuse. Not for me anyway. I'm only 30 lbs lighter than I was when I got induced to have him and for me that's just not acceptable! Especially since I gained 54.5lbs while I was preggers! I've got about 30 lbs to lose before I'm back at a healthy, sexy weight for me.
Yesterday my cousin Bre and I went on a little road trip to Monroe, MI to attend an autograph/photo session with Peter Facinelli, aka Dr. Carlisle Cullen in the Twilight movies. Any time with Bre is ALWAYS a blast and a half. She and I are always crazy and we totally get each other. We're both crazy and intense and say what's on our mind. We seem to be on the same wavelength too. Like saying the same things and such. For instance, yesterday on the way to monroe we were rocking out in the car to "jessie's girl" by rick springfield. We were both leaning side to side together in perfect time. We were doing 2 beats per lean and then at the end of the chorus where it goes "woman like that" we both, without planning it, did three one beat leans simultaneously! Perfection! We both died laughing of course. Like I said, it's always a good time.
So we left my house at 6am and arrived at the mall in monroe at 8:40am. We were about 100-125 people back which was great! So we waited outside until 10am when the mall opened and then waited inside in line until 12:45pm when Mr. Facinelli FINALLY graced us with his presence. He is definitely one sexy man and Jennie Garth, his wifey, is one lucky lady! It was cool because a portion of the proceeds from that day are going to support Alex's Lemonade Stand Foundation which supports finding a cure for childhood cancer. You can learn more about it HERE. It was started by a cancer patient named Alexandra Scott. The foundation operates on the principal "when life hands you lemons you make lemonade". Alex passed away on August 1, 2004 after a 4 year battle with cancer. I think this is an awesome foundation and have decided to begin my own annual lemonade stand and send all proceeds to ALSF. I encourage anyone else who reads this to do the same. It's a few hours of your time and goes to a great cause, curing childhood cancer. I know that as a parent one of my greatest fears is losing one of my children and anything I can do to helping ensure that no parent ever has to hold their child's hand through chemo, I'll do it.
Speaking of my children, they are a handful and a half! They're sitting next to me on the couch while I write this. Eating chocolate chip cookies and watching batman and robin, Kaiden's latest obsession. I can't believe he's going to be 4 in just 3 weeks! He has grown up so much lately I sometimes have to pinch myself to make sure I'm not dreaming. It really does go so incredibly fast. He's been potty trained for several months now and right now we're working on learning all of his letters so we can begin working on reading! Wow! It seems like just yesterday he was a little tiny baby and now he's my big boy! Ryland is 15 months old now nad he is an absolute hoot! He's got a dozen teeth now and a head full of curly blonde hair framing his beautiful green eyes! He runs everywhere and has taken after his brother with climbing like a monkey! His favorite thing to do right now is climbing up on the coffee table, walking right to the edge, and then screaming for me to catch him while he jumps off! Ahhh! Crazy kids!!
Ok, I think this is enough of an update for now, see you tomorrow, same bat time, same bat channel.
Friday, April 24, 2009
When wondering out loud how one goose gets to lead the entire V:
"Did you ever wonder how they decide which goose gets to fly at the front? I mean, did that goose sleep their way to the front of the V? Are the other geese behind her going 'stupid slut, she slept with Tom and now SHE gets to lead us all to cabo?!'"
Later I found out that it was the goose with the highest level of magnetism in their head or some scientific shit like that.
When looking for my sister's newly chipped off tooth: "I found it...oh, no wait...that's a rice krispie."
Talking about my slip-n-slide va-jay-jay: "I never have to worry about buying any KY...it's like my body's own little way of clipping coupons and saving money!"
When getting a pelvic exam from the doctor:
Doctor:"hey, toss me some lube."
Me: "Geez...you could at least take me out to dinner first! Olive Garden sounds nice!"
Doctor and Nurse in unison: "OMG Hahahahaha!!"
And that's it for now...my brain has malfunctioned and is suffering from a rather severe case of CRS.
Friday, April 17, 2009
My first kiss was when I was 5. He was 10 (what can I say, I was a hot little number) and we were in the breezeway at my house...not very slick...my mom caught us and chewed the boy out. Little did she know that we made out at the pavillion at the park too...hehehe...
I mean, what did she expect? I had 2 boyfriends at 4 years old! Player! Of course when pre-school ended I had to kick them to the curb. Kindergarten was coming and there were going to be other boys and I surely wasn't going to get myself tied down to one man so young!
And boy was I right! With kindergarten came Ben Strycker...boy did I chase THAT boy around the playground! Woowee! Of course me being a girl who was obsessed with him automatically did not bode well for our relationship, but I gave it the old college, ok kindergarten, try! Alas, after the puppet string incident in 1st grade it was all over for us...but I digress...in 3rd grade there was Brian. We decided on the bus one day that we would be boyfriend and girlfriend. So I told him to kiss me, because being the smart little cookie I was, I knew that was what boyfriends and girlfriends did! Yes my friends, that was my first french kiss, at the tender age of 8. Sloppy, but decent considering the fact that he was less experienced than me.
3rd grade ended my "cute" phase and threw me into my awkwardly skinny, frizzy haired, flat-chested, freckled girl phase. I hated that phase! Talk about a dry spell! I didn't have another man until 6th grade and that was only because he was double-dog dared to be my boyfriend and everyone knows you DO NOT refuse a double-dog dare! You can't! Of course that ended quickly. You just can't force a relationship like that!
Around this time I was getting teased by all the boys because while the rest of the girls at least had fat nipples, I still had nothing. They told me that I would be flat-chested forever. My BFF Rebecca came to my rescue and told the boys they'd be eating their words once we got to high school because I'd have the biggest boobs out of everybody! Who knew she had magical powers? I sure didn't! But I believe that on that day she cursed me. Yes, cursed, not blessed. It is a curse when you end your freshman year of high school as an A cup and a week later walk into drivers ed with a full C cup. Do you know what kind of rumors that starts? I was 15 and the rumor was that I had implants and that I was just recovering really fast...yeah...kids are really smart. The torture continued throughout the school year. "Hey what is it today? Jello or pudding?" To which my response was, "I dunno, how bout you? Socks or a roll of quarters?"
Finally I caved and showed someone, that killed the rumors but then fueled every guys desire to get their hands on those puppies! That and it also fueled the hatred of me by most girls in the school. I had gone from the likeable short skinny girl with no curves to speak of, to the girl with nearly the biggest rack in the school, and that made me an evil bitch and a slut. Didn't you know that big boobs=slut? If you didn't, you do now. Truth is, I didn't actually lose my V-card until 2 months shy of my 18th bday. Though everyone would have liked to believe it was MUCH earlier than that. But that's another story for another day.
The worst thing about getting big boobs when you're young, is that while all your little flat chested friends are shopping at the trendy stores, you have to search high and low for something that will fit and not flatten or over-accentuate (i.e. slut-up) your cleavage. Not an easy task, trust me! I was too skinny for the fat girl store, and to chesty for the trendy stores. I went naked. Not really, but it would make for an interesting story huh?
So back to me being a kiss slut. I've kissed more men than I can remember, some good, some great, some god awful. But let me say this, the worst kiss EVER is the sloppy wet kiss. I want to kiss you, not smell your saliva on my face for the rest of the day! Gross! I'm not your territory! Don't mark me! Yuck!
Best kisser ever was definitely this guy named Brian. He worked at Journey's in the mall and he was a bad boy. I was 18 and oh how I ♥ the bad boys! Not only that but boy oh boy did he rock my world! That was the first time a guy ever pulled my hair and bit my lip when he kissed me and now if a guy doesn't, it's totally ruined for me. Thanks Brian! You upped my kissing kryptonite and I'll always be grateful!
That's all for now, maybe I'll remember more later...maybe I'll have a top ten list like Dave Letterman, maybe not, but you can all look forward to the virginity story...til then...
Friday, April 3, 2009
Monsoons in spring time and whiskers on women
Over-bright headlights and itchy wool mittens
Brown paper packages covered in tape
These are a few of my least favorite things
Dogs with butt nuggets and the people who own them
Ordering a Big Mac meal with a diet coke
Wild party girls with their nipples exposed
These are a few of my least favorite things
Girls in white outfits with blue undergarments
People who don't know it's to, too, and two
Lake effect snow in the middle of March
These are a few of my least favorite things
When I see a
Girl in spandex
When I'm feeling blonde...
I simply remember my least favorite things and then I don't feeeeeel soooo dumb!!
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
So is it wrong of me to always think of whether or not the potential children I could have with a mate will be attractive or not? I mean, I know I have good genes, but (and especially if they haven't procreated previously) what about them? I mean, how am I to know which genes will show up dominantly in their children? Whew! It makes me really nervous!! I mean, I REALLY lucked out with Ryland looking like me because, quite frankly, his dad has started to look like a cabbage patch doll, and on a 34 year old man that is NOT attractive. He didn't look like that when we hooked up, and Dawn agrees that he's looking weird now too. Anywho, that may make me sound like a heinous bitch, but it's the God's honest truth.
Moving on, yesterday as I was walking in my house (after having to ask my neighbor to have all of the birthday party guests that parked in front of MY house move) I was walking inside and heard a male voice from behind me say"hey", so I turned around and it was this guy in a car. I'm too far away to see who it is. So this guy goes, "hey, what're you doing?" I was like, "I'm gonna go make dinner" rolled my eyes, and started to walk away. And he was like, "what you don't remember your buddy Will?" So I screamed and ran over to him and gave him a hug. So this guy is a very attractive black man who I used to work with at a factory. He wrote me poetry when we worked together and has always wanted me bad. But I've never looked at him like that. I've always thought he was hilarious and smart, but I wasn't attracted to him in a sexual way. So when he called me today, instead of leading him on I laid it out for him. I said look Will you're an amazing person, you're attractive, smart, funny and just an all around great and fun person, but I'm not attracted to you like that. He says he understood, but I know he was hurt. I was really happy to see him though! Sigh...he wrote me another poem last night. It's cute, really it is. The first poem he wrote me was based on my name. Like each letter starting the line was a letter in my name. I feel bad, but he and I are a lot alike and I really value his friendship. I've known him for 2 years now and know that if I haven't developed those feelings for him yet after all the time we spent together, they're just not there for me. Unfortunately they are there BIG TIME for him. He told me "I just don't get it. Every other woman I want, I get. Except for you. You just broke my heart again. I'm over you now. But we're cool, we can still be friends." Which I'm really glad for!
Why? Why me?! Ugh!
My fwb (friend with benefits) stood me up last week. Yeah. Stood up by my fuck buddy. Nice. He even called me 3.5 hours before-hand to confirm plans, and then never showed up. To top it off, he didn't respond to any of my phone calls. I called twice that night and twice the next day and left him one voicemail. Nothing. What's really disappointing was that that was honestly, THE BEST SEX of my life. So I'm really pissed off. I mean, fuck, at least call me and let me know that you're not coming over. Be courteous. Be a courteous jackass. Boo to him.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Also we have organic soaps that come in Apple Cinnamon and Strawberry Fields. They smell really yummy and have natural exfoliants in them to make your skin silky smooth!
And there are also homemade candles.
And diaper cakes! This is a small one, we can make them as big and ornate as you want!
Top view, the thing in packaging is washcloths made to look like a lollipop!
Anybody who is interested in ordering ANYTHING, please let me know!!
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
In other news, the bear got his first tooth yesterday! Oh, and Kaiden destroyed his tv, it won't even turn on. How he did it, I have no idea, but he did! So now, he goes to sleep with no movies. That first night was rough, but after I told him he didn't get to cry about something that HE did, it's been ok. I told him that even thought mommy COULD get him a new TV, she won't. He went to bed with absolutely no problems last night. This could be the night time salvation I've been looking for all along!
Pictures of the bear:
Bananas are my favorite!!!
I'm trying to crawl mom!!
And I've started on Ultra 90...I'll keep you all abreast of how that goes...so far so good! Oh, and I'm also starting the curly girl hair method, also known as no-poo! (no shampoo ya sickos!)
Til next time!
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
I got my first pedicure ever and Ry was the most amazingly well behaved child (as usual). I picked up a book at the bookstore that I think everyone should read. It's called "Are you there Vodka? It's me, Chelsea." It's by comedienne Chelsea Handler and OMG talk about a LOL kind of book! I was snort-laughing my way through the entire book! The fact that she refers to her father as "bitch tits" just killed me! Then the part about her red-headed boyfriend's "pitcher's mound" downstairs...HI-larious!! Found out from my pedicurist that she also has a book where she documents her one-night stands. Each chapter is a new man! Can't wait to read it!
I realized that we are two VERY DRASTICALLY different people. That, and Sunday morning when I woke up I discovered Daniel sleeping on the floor. I woke up at 7:30am. He woke up at 11:30am and I asked him why he slept on the floor. Well...apparantly he tried to cuddle up to me the night before and I (while sleeping!!) said "ugh, move!" and then, "This is a waste of my time". Talk about breaking it to him gently! Jesus. I had no response when he told me I had said that because, well, I was done. Needless to say I was on my way to the airport 2 hours later. And guess who took me? You're never going to believe this one; Don. My ex-fiance Don took me to the airport. And it wasn't awkward at all shockingly enough! It was actually kinda fun!
Monday, February 16, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
Aren't they beautiful?!?! I think these are my favorites ever! Amy did an amazing job! Thanks Amy!
Ok, well....that's it for now....
.........to be continued.........
Thursday, February 12, 2009
I just received another phone call. Again restricted. And again they said the same thing, "I wanna fuck you in your ass". This time, I stayed on the phone and listened and it sounded like this guy was masturbating while he was on the phone. Like he was getting off on scaring the shit out of me. Well guess what, it worked! I called the police and they're sending someone out to take a statement because I'm fucking terrified. Crazy ass shit happens these days and I don't want to be another girl who's story makes it into Cosmo warning other girls of what I should have done. Fuck that!
Work is going really really well. I had my yearly review last week and my boss was very pleased with the work I've been doing and really complimented me on how much I've improved over the last year. (I started where I am as the assistant property manager and 2 months later we got bought out by the company I work for now and I moved up to Property Manager.) When I started I didn't know Jack. The previous manager didn't really tell me much about the financial aspect of the business or auction procedures and a lot of things the previous company did was illegal and wrong, and I didn't know. So, everone just assumed I knew and I had to figure almost all of it out on my own, plus learn all new software, and I was pregnant and I moved, and yeah, it was a nightmare. So we discussed my future goals with the company. I told him that I want to move up into a marketing position at the home office eventually. He said that if that's what I want he's going to help me get there. So this week we had our quarterly meeting in Indy. ( I got a full night's sleep!! Yay!!!) We have a new property manager, Karen, who is older than time and by the end of yesterday I wanted to punch her. She's old, but I wanted to punch her. And here's why:
We had a brainstorming session/challenge where we were divided into 4 groups and everyone had a different challenge to come up with a solution to where money was no object. Ours was how to get more people in the door, LeAnn was the one writing everything down, I was the speaker, and LeAnn and I were the ones coming up with EVERYTHING while Karen shoots everything down. 'Well we don't have anything in LaPorte. That wont work.' A constant barrage of no, no, no, stupid, hate it, no, no, negative, life sucks, eat shit and die....you get the picture. So finally I looked at her and I'm like "look, we cannot just focus on YOU we have to focus on everyone's properties. We've got 5 minutes left and we've got nothing. Be quiet and quit shooting everything down!" We ended up coming up with a great idea that everybody loved that Karen claimed "just would never work." Kiss it ya old bat!
So after the meeting I went and met Autumn, the girl who sued me almost 4 years ago and I was on judge judy with, at a local bar. Her father passed away last year and he was awesome and they were very close. I found out and sent her a myspace message sending my condolences and we both decided that the past was the past and we wanted to reconnect and catch up with each other. It was so much fun! I missed hanging out with her so much!
So I left Indy around 5:15...during, apparantly, monsoon season in central Indiana! I mean, it was awful!! Stop lights out everywhere, traffic backed up forever! It took me almost 2 hours to get out of Indy! And I wasn't even downtown! I was on 96th St.!! I got back to Elkhart and got my kids at 8:40, packed them up, drove home, pulled into my complex and went "DAMNIT!!!"
No power. No fucking power. So I ran in, lit a candle, gathered up clothes and diapers and such and went BACK to my moms and stayed the night there. Yeah, fun.
Today I get to work and Microsoft has updated my computer, and in the process, severely effed it up! Got it fixed, but for a second there I was panicking hardcore!
So life's been interesting, as usual, but good. Oh yeah, we got cable and all that at home now! So now when Kaiden is irritating the holy bejesus out of me, I can just turn on the Imagination Movers and he's in a whole other world! Score!
Well...that's it for now...happy blogging!!